July 17, 2013
Do you have a dream board? Typically I hear the phrase dream board and I give a giant eye roll. Magazines, scissors, glue… Just give me some decoupage and I will make you a collage while I am at it. Gag.
Well, I read an article on LinkedIn this morning that inspired me to create one. I literally stopped the project I was pretending to work on to create my dream board. Why the sudden change of heart do you ask? The writer suggested Pinterest. That means no glue and creepy cutouts of waify models! And we all know I love pinterest. I have also been a bit distracted lately, so I thought maybe a dream board would help me refocus. I don’t know. Maybe I am about to get my period and needed a girly moment.
So the board has been created, and it is private. Sorry folks! A wise person, the husband, once told me that you should not share your goals with others. The act of talking about it makes you think you are making progress when you are most likely dragging your feet. I pull this crap all the time. So, I made my dream board private partly for this reason. The other reason is because, well, dreams are just sort of private.
I will reveal one item on my dream board. Write a book. Now you have to tell me one of your dreams.
July 8, 2013
Fred is officially campaigning to change his name from Dickhead Fred to Handsome Fred. I like his style.
May 28, 2013
I was working at our dining room table early this morning (like 8:30) when I heard the distinct rumble of the bulk pick up trash guys entering our neighborhood. Actually, Fred heard them and started to growl. He doesn’t care for them. Probably has something to do with the giant claw removing stuff from his property.
This is when I remembered that the husband and I had still not cut down the 2 almost dead trees in our front yard, and I simply could not deal with looking at them for another month. I happened to be at a good stopping point with the project I was working on, so I threw on a baseball cap and running shoes and then ran out the front door with a chainsaw and a burning desire to be destructive.
Using a chainsaw makes you feel so…tough…and strong. I made way more cuts than I needed to because I just wanted to keep chopping. Or is it sawing? I even thought about yelling “TIMBER!” but I didn’t want to scare the old lady walking her prissy little dog.
This story gets better. I was still in my pajamas. In the front yard. And, my burly man of a husband was sitting inside surfing the internet in his underwear while his girly little wife went chainsaw massacre on two sad trees. Our poor neighbors.
May 20, 2013
My salsa recipe is now my famous salsa recipe. We competed in a homebrew competition yesterday (and won!), and of course there were food pairings with each beer. You have to enhance the beer flavors! The famous salsa was paired with the–now award winning–IPA. The beer was the real star of the show, but there were tons of requests for the salsa recipe. Even the old hispanic men were asking for it! That’s when you know you have a winner! So here it is again, the famous salsa recipe.
You can also check out The Manhattan Project’s facebook page. That’s the brewery. Website and additional marketing coming soon. We couldn’t go into this with too much arrogance, but now we have bragging rights!
I have seen some pins claiming to be the world’s best salsa, and I feel it is my duty to set the record straight with the recipe for the real world’s best salsa. I have been duped by Pinterest recipes before, and it was a sad day in the Sanford kitchen.
What was my first clue that these pins were a lousy imitation? Cilantro and lime were missing. Isn’t that a staple, like tomatoes?
This is a basic salsa recipe that will knock your salsa dancing socks off. That was cheesy.
Back to Basics Salsa
- 28 oz can of peeled tomatoes
- 1 medium onion, chopped
- 4-6 garlic cloves, chopped
- Juice of 2-3 limes
- Handful of cilantro, chopped
- 1/2 – 1 tsp cumin
- 2-5 peppers, mix of serrano and jalapeno, chopped
- S&P to taste
Throw it all in a blender. Don’t puree though. The pulse button is perfect for salsa. Taste as you pulse so that you can make any necessary adjustments. I put this salsa on everything. Eggs, chicken, veggies, you name it.
Need to troubleshoot your salsa?
- Too flat? Add more lime or cilantro.
- Too watery? Add a little cumin or garlic.
- Not spicy enough? Add more pepper. The level of heat in each pepper is unpredictable. You might need 3 jalapenos one time and 2 the next.
May 16, 2013
Our house is haunted, and it is the husband’s fault. He pissed off a ghost, and that angry spirit is clearly trying to send us a message.
We had a small kitchen fire a few weeks ago. Like our other two fires, this one was fairly minor. All humans and pets were safe (except for a fish named Einstein), and we discovered it just before potential massive damage.
Once we got things under control, we resumed our wine drinking and BS’ing in the neighbor’s backyard. That is when someone made a joke about our house being haunted. I mean, what kind of idiots have 3 fires in under 3 years. Ummm…people who have pissed off a ghost!
So about 5 years ago–long before I ever met him–the husband was doing some work in our crawlspace when he found a cedar box filled with ashes. In his infinite wisdom, he and his buddies weighed the ashes (they were in a bag in the box), and after a little research, they determined it was either a small human or a very, very large dog. Well what does one do with ashes of something that was clearly cremated? Why throw it away of course! Yes folks, he threw away the ashes of someone’s loved one. In the garbage.
And that is why we now have to get our home blessed before this bitter being burns it down. All of these almost catastrophes are getting a bit tired. Any recommendations for someone who talks to dead people? The husband would like to express his sincerest apologies.
April 25, 2013
I am too old for a quarter-life crisis and too young for a midlife crisis, but I am clearly going through something. I am about to turn 32, and I want a motorcycle. I must now mention that I have never driven a motorcycle. Not once. I have been on the back of one plenty of times. I know you are supposed to lean when you turn. Can’t get much harder than that, can it?
I don’t want a Harley or a crotch rocket. Those are so not me. I want a vintage café racer! The husband and I parked next to one a couple weeks ago, and I immediately knew it had to be mine. I know the one I get someday will be old and in need of work. It makes the most financial sense for this probably somewhat fleeting obsession. I’ve even started prematurely planning the paint, seat, and my helmet. All the important stuff. Move over pinterest, mama is looking up biker blogs!
I also have zero desire to every drive it on Dallas highways or any roads where speeds exceed 50 mph. I am a sissy. This will strictly be a neighborhood commuter. Trips to the coffee shop, the gym, and lunch dates. BTW – I am also scared of riding it in the dark; hence, the lunch dates. A Vespa (or a fixie) might be more appropriate, but it would be so boring and so very, very predictable.
March 15, 2013
I open up instagram each morning and see the usual #ootd posts, and I think, “Oh, that’s cute.” Believe it or not, it is not in my usual snarky tone. Okay, maybe there is a very slight tone. But come on… I can only see so many ways to wear a blazer with skinnys before my eyes start to roll uncontrollably. And are all of those hashtags really necessary? You like to wear labels. I get it.
#ootd posts make me remember when I had a cush corporate job and used to wear pretty dresses everyday. Now getting dressed up means putting on a bra and a clean pair of jeans. However, heels continue to and always will be a staple in my daily wardrobe. With or without the bra and clean jeans.
On a whim of mockery, I decided to take my own #ootd photo. I even took it in the bathroom, so it would feel super authentic. It is also the only room in our home that that has a full length mirror.
Cardigan: #JCrew c. 2010
T-shirt: #RaRaRiot tee purchased at their show
Jeans: #Target special!
Scarf: #giftfrommom and not a clue where it came from
Cocktail ring: #thriftstore
Nail polish: #wildcactus from #birchbox
So there you have it. That is my daily uniform these days in all of its hashtag glory! Switch out the band tee for a beer tee or the cardigan for a blazer, and call it a new day. AND it is unsex! Steal my look if you are a man or a woman. I just made myself giggle out loud.
March 4, 2013
If this doesn’t make you smile, your Monday is doomed. Our new fridge is torturing poor Fred. All that food is so very close, and he can’t have any of it! I have even found him resting his chin on the door.
February 26, 2013
I have a new favorite breakfast that is healthy and doesn’t have a Mc in front of it! God, I love the Egg McMuffin. This one is made from Chia seeds. I always want to eat chia seeds, but they are kind of gross and slimy. Especially when they bloat. And yep, they are the very same seeds from Chia pets. Ch-ch-ch-chia!
I stumbled across this yogurt type recipe on Pinterest. Successful recipes on Pinterest…who knew that was even possible?! I made a few adjustments to the original recipe to tailor it to my own taste. It also originally called for almond milk, but that is not a staple in our house. The last time it made an appearance, the husband looked at me like I was trying to poison him.
Chia Seed Breakfast Bowl
- 1 mashed banana
- 2 tbsp of Chia seeds
- ½ – ¾ cup of milk
- 1 cap full of vanilla
- Juice of half an orange
- Tiny squirt of honey
- Few dashes of cinnamon
Mash the banana first and then mix in all the other good stuff. Cover and refrigerate overnight. It will be ready and delicious in the morning. Sometimes I get a little crazy and add sliced almonds or raisins just before serving.
February 1, 2013
Relaxing morning coffee. Ignore the hair.
I am sitting in a condo in Breckenridge, drinking champagne, and just thinking about how good life is. Everyone else is asleep, I am exhausted, but I don’t want this evening to end. I didn’t realize how ready I was for a mini vaca until yesterday. It is only January 31, but it has already been one of my most challenging but also wonderful years.
One of my closest friends, Michelle, and I both worked most of the day from various coffee shops and then eventually wine bars while the husbands skied. Of course we did a little shopping during our treks between locals, but we actually spent a good part of the day sitting together, working, and sharing our stories. It was a wonderfully productive day and so relaxing at the same time. I was able to sit, think, and really enjoy the moment.
Anytime I start to question whether or not I have the guts to continue to work for myself, something seems to happen that makes everything feel perfectly right. Even if it is only perfectly right for right now. Now let’s be honest, I typically question it when I want to buy a piece of vintage furniture or a handbag that isn’t quite in the budget for a fiscally responsible woman like myself. You know, those super superficial moments. Somehow fate or something like that steps in and tells me I am on the right track.
I met with a new client on Tuesday, and they completely inspired me. They are a small group and are beyond passionate about their product. It was so refreshing. AND, they hired me to brand them and tell their story! I could not be more excited. I have had opportunities with some big boys, but these little guys are what really get me going. I even got a love note (that’s what I call sweet emails) from them today, and it was worth 10x more than any 4 star review I ever got in the corporate world (I was always far too outspoken to get 5 stars). I don’t have a huge team or big budgets. This is all me, and that is my inspiration. Sometimes it scares me to death, but it is worth every single drop in this damn roller coaster ride.
The bubbles came later in the day.