Southern Charm

There is a certain southern accent I love.  My friend Marcia (that’s pronounced Mar-see-a not Marsha) quite possibly has the best drawl I have ever heard.  She was in Dallas from Atlanta this week.  I was fortunate enough to monopolize all her time and soak up her accent as much as possible.  I found myself mimicking words she would say.  Not because I was teasing, but because I wanted to learn!  She can say the crudest things with terrible language and it sounds like pure honey.  Of course she is too much of a lady to do that.  

While drinking beer and eating mussels at The Moth, she made a comment that made me realize she absolutely fits the role of a true southern lady.  Sounds like an oxymoron, right?  She inspired me to look up rules these ladies live by so that I can hope to be as charming and gracious as Ms Marcia one day.  I gave myself a letter grade for each item.  I need some work.

  • A true southern lady knows how to entertain AND cook. A.  I’m including the fiance in this grade and taking credit for his cooking.
  • You must never turn down an invitation.  D
  • Every southern lady knows that a pitcher of iced tea is a MUST for all occasions.  F. Wine should count!
  • If you have no choice but to say something less than flattering about someone, add “bless his/her heart” and then anything goes!  F
  • Never show anger in public. Smile and act like a lady.  C
  • Act helpless and confused when it’s to your advantage; never let them know how clever and capable you really are. I’m afraid I can’t reveal this grade.  It’s like telling a secret.
  • Don’t so much as go to the mailbox without hair, make-up and nails being done.  F-
  • Charm, Charm, Charm.  B
  • Secret family recipes are just that – secret! It is extremely bad manners to ask someone for a secret family recipe or to share your own.  D.  I have such a big mouth.

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