How to NOT Write a Rap Song

I have been desperately trying to write a rap song, and I have been very unsuccessful.  I think I am too _________.  You decide what goes in the blank.  The fiance emailed me with his own rap song that I thought was very clever.  In that same email he encouraged me to write my own song about my ride (that’s slang for car).

I accepted the challenge and thought about it for few moments before I got stuck.  I tried to mentally play rap songs.  That didn’t work.  I played a few on iTunes.  That still didn’t work.  I ditched it all and decided to write a poem that rhymed.  Really?!  A poem!  I am too _________.  You can fill in the blank again with a number of appropriate words.  When the poem didn’t work, I turned to google.  I pitifully entered “how to write a rap song” in the search bar.  I briefly got inspired when I saw Weird Al in the search results.  Then I realized how desperate google must think I am and I completely abandoned the challenge.  As I (and probably you) suspected, I am too ________ to rap.

Want to read what the fiance wrote about his ride?  Now that I read it again, I think he is also pretty ________.

Drive a Lexus ES, rollin stock 16’s
Got my tortoise shell glasses and my boot cut jeans
My brown blazer jacket holds my droid smart phone
And my GPS finds the fastest route home

Cheers to a peek inside a well spent 20 minutes of my life!  At least I know a clever way to sign off.

Deuces and smooches!


4 Comments to “How to NOT Write a Rap Song”

  1. Um…try “whip” instead of ride. LOL

  2. Ahahahaha. This is great. I like the ______ fiance’s rap. You should get him to actually RAP it. And secretly record it. Before posting it here. I won’t tell. I’ll just listen to it and rap along.

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