A Pleasant Evening Walk

Last night I had my first pleasant dog walk of the summer.  An evening in the 80s in August in Dallas is unheard of.  The pleasantries ended at the weather…

Walking an 85 lb lab and a 75 lb shepherd mix is not the most relaxing thing in the world.  At least for the first mile. They both wear leads because they are stronger than me, are very strong willed, and let’s be honest…not that well trained.  The problem with the leads is that people assume they are muzzles.  Mothers walking with their young children immediately cross the street when they see us coming.  No, my dogs are not going to bite, but they might lick your kid.  Especially if he is still crusty from whatever snack he recently consumed.

Lucy, the female, marks 2-3 times every block. Between her squats, she likes to roll in anything that could be dead or possibly smell of death.  She nose dives into it and then rolls on her back like she is getting the best belly rub of her life.

Fred, the male, doesn’t mark.  Instead, he spends the entire walk on high alert for his arch-nemesis.  Cats.  We live in the city, so cats are like squirrels for you suburb folks. When I don’t let him chase the cats, he immediately throws a temper tantrum.  Kicks his legs, refuses to move, and cries at the top of his doggy lungs.  This is a painful and pitiful bellow that goes on and on…and on.  I am left to do nothing but stand there and watch him.  Have you tried to drag a 75 lb dog that doesn’t want to move?  One time I actually picked him up and walked away from the crowd that was stopping to watch us.  This is one of the many reasons why we lovingly call him Dickhead Fred.

The good news is that they can sense evil.  Fred has even trapped a thief in our backyard.  They also scared the crap out of a creepy looking man lurking in an alley last night.  I don’t think he will be visiting our house anytime soon.  Fred has got quite the reputation that he is upholding very well.  Let’s just hope cats and creepers don’t cross his path at the same time.

It isn’t all bad though.  Lucy eventually runs out of pee and Fred gives up on cat hunting.  By the time we return home with both dogs thoroughly exhausted and trailing behind me, I have promised to teach them obedience or never walk them together again.  But I know I will break that promise.  What fun is a walk without a little excitement and embarrassment.  Who wants to go on just…a walk?


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