Golf and Sofia Vergara

On Sunday night I was reminded that it is sometimes more appropriate to phone a girlfriend than to interrupt the husband’s golf show to talk about meaningless celebrity bullshit.

Before I continue, I must admit that I am pretty obsessed with golf.  My love for it has slowly matured over the last year.  It fully blossomed when I was introduced to Graeme McDowell.  Yum-mmeeeee.  Of course I didn’t really meet him, but I watched Feherty’s interview with him and felt like I was right there drinking a pint of Guiness with the Irish lads.   Are they called lads in Ireland?  I think that might be the other accent, the Australian one.  I don’t even like Guiness and think European beer outside of Belgium is a waste of calories, but I would choke down a Guiness for Graeme.  Feherty too.  Okay, more about golf and Graeme later.

The husband was watching a golf program on Sunday night while I was inspecting Emmy dresses online.  I couldn’t help but notice that the celebs very carefully place their hands on their hips or waist to accentuate the feature they want you to see.  I reviewed a few photos in detail while carefully avoiding the bitches that are much skinnier than me, and then I went to our full-length mirror to attempt to mimic the poses.

OMG, Sofia Vergara’s hips are huge!  HOT but huge.  And don’t forget that she is Latin so she gets a pass.  I confirmed it a couple of times in the mirror and then went running to the husband to tell him about my very scientific way of determining a celeb’s waist and hip size. I went into great detail about where Sofia’s hands were placed (slightly above the crotch but below the waste) and even demonstrated it in my leggings, tang top, and Uggs.  Then I showed him how far apart her hands were in her pose.  I really wanted him to understand my A-HA! moment.

He just looked up and said, “So your hips are smaller than hers and this is important?”

Touche and STFU.

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