That Awkward Moment

One of these things is not like the others.  One of these things just doesn’t belong.

Do you ever hear a song playing in your head when you walk into a room?  I do occasionally.  Sometimes I feel like I have a mental soundtrack for my life.  One of those soundtrack moments happened this afternoon.  Sesame Street’s “One of these things is not like the others” was my tune of choice when the husband and I walked into a baby shower for some good friends.  It wasn’t the terrible let’s play cheesy games and humiliate the future mom kind of shower.  Thank god.  It was a couples deal with food and cocktails.  Good time.

I know you are probably thinking, “Good time and cocktails, so why do you not belong?”  Well, we walked in the front door and saw baby after baby after baby.  I think I even blurted, “Holy babies!”  There were that many.  You know how babies look kind of generic, and you could switch them out and not even notice?  There wasn’t any switcheroo going on.  There were about 8 babies there.

So the fact that we don’t have a baby was reason #1 we didn’t belong.  Reason #2 was exposed during conversation.  We realized everyone there knew everyone but us.  We were like this weird childless couple that doesn’t go to church.  Oh yeah, they all go to the same church.  Church isn’t our thing, so I am sometimes a little awkward in these situations.  I don’t know the rules in big groups.  I accidently swear or use the Lord’s name in vain just because I am hypersensitive to the fact that I shouldn’t yell SWEET BABY JESUS when a child shrieks at the top of her lungs.  Okay, I didn’t really do that.  It was more of an internal statement in my head.

I eventually got past my awkwardness, relaxed, and met some lovely people.  That was until it was gift time. Our gift was not appropriate for all crowds or all future grandmothers.  Didn’t really think about that when I chose to ditch the registry. What did the biggest, unfiltered smart asses in the room decide to bring as a gift?  Go the F**k to Sleep by Adam Mansbach.  Who needs nursery rhymes when you have a f**cking crying baby?

The future Dad loved it just like I knew he would.  We even got a few high fives from the other guests. Maybe we do belong!  But it was a bit of a surprise for the future grandmother. I will admit that I am still chucking to myself when I recall the look on her face when she read the book title.  Poor woman; I am sorry.  Not that sorry though.  It was priceless.





2 Comments to “That Awkward Moment”

  1. Bahahahahaha. Love it!
    Man, situations like that kill me. Totes awk. Haha. I also feel really weird when I notice/realize someone else doesn’t quite fit in, and make an idiot of myself by trying to force the square into a round hole. I just want everyone to get on the same page! Pretend to be normal and stuff.

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