Archive for May, 2013

May 28, 2013

Chainsaws and Coffee – Just another Tuesday Morning

chainsawI was working at our dining room table early this morning (like 8:30) when I heard the distinct rumble of the bulk pick up trash guys entering our neighborhood.  Actually, Fred heard them and started to growl.  He doesn’t care for them.  Probably has something to do with the giant claw removing stuff from his property.

This is when I remembered that the husband and I had still not cut down the 2 almost dead trees in our front yard, and I simply could not deal with looking at them for another month.  I happened to be at a good stopping point with the project I was working on, so I threw on a baseball cap and running shoes and then ran out the front door with a chainsaw and a burning desire to be destructive.

Using a chainsaw makes you feel so…tough…and strong.  I made way more cuts than I needed to because I just wanted to keep chopping.  Or is it sawing?  I even thought about yelling “TIMBER!” but I didn’t want to scare the old lady walking her prissy little dog.

This story gets better.  I was still in my pajamas.  In the front yard.  And, my burly man of a husband was sitting inside surfing the internet in his underwear while his girly little wife went chainsaw massacre on two sad trees.  Our poor neighbors.

May 20, 2013

Famous Salsa Recipe

My salsa recipe is now my famous salsa recipe.  We competed in a homebrew competition yesterday (and won!), and of course there were food pairings with each beer.  You have to enhance the beer flavors!  The famous salsa was paired with the–now award winning–IPA.  The beer was the real star of the show, but there were tons of requests for the salsa recipe.  Even the old hispanic men were asking for it!  That’s when you know you have a winner!  So here it is again, the famous salsa recipe.

You can also check out The Manhattan Project’s facebook page.  That’s the brewery.  Website and additional marketing coming soon.  We couldn’t go into this with too much arrogance, but now we have bragging rights!

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I have seen some pins claiming to be the world’s best salsa, and I feel it is my duty to set the record straight with the recipe for the real world’s best salsa.  I have been duped by Pinterest recipes before, and it was a sad day in the Sanford kitchen.

What was my first clue that these pins were a lousy imitation?  Cilantro and lime were missing.  Isn’t that a staple, like tomatoes?

This is a basic salsa recipe that will knock your salsa dancing socks off. That was cheesy.

Back to Basics Salsa

  • 28 oz can of peeled tomatoes
  • 1 medium onion, chopped
  • 4-6 garlic cloves, chopped
  • Juice of 2-3 limes
  • Handful of cilantro, chopped
  • 1/2 – 1 tsp cumin
  • 2-5 peppers, mix of serrano and jalapeno, chopped
  • S&P to taste

Throw it all in a blender.  Don’t puree though.  The pulse button is perfect for salsa.  Taste as you pulse so that you can make any necessary adjustments.  I put this salsa on everything.  Eggs, chicken, veggies, you name it.

Need to troubleshoot your salsa?

  • Too flat?  Add more lime or cilantro.
  • Too watery?  Add a little cumin or garlic.
  • Not spicy enough?  Add more pepper.  The level of heat in each pepper is unpredictable.  You might need 3 jalapenos one time and 2 the next.

Enjoy!

May 16, 2013

One Very Bitter Ghost

GhostOur house is haunted, and it is the husband’s fault.  He pissed off a ghost, and that angry spirit is clearly trying to send us a message.

We had a small kitchen fire a few weeks ago. Like our other two fires, this one was fairly minor.  All humans and pets were safe (except for a fish named Einstein), and we discovered it just before potential massive damage.

Once we got things under control, we resumed our wine drinking and BS’ing in the neighbor’s backyard. That is when someone made a joke about our house being haunted. I mean, what kind of idiots have 3 fires in under 3 years.  Ummm…people who have pissed off a ghost!

So about 5 years ago–long before I ever met him–the husband was doing some work in our crawlspace when he found a cedar box filled with ashes. In his infinite wisdom, he and his buddies weighed the ashes (they were in a bag in the box), and after a little research, they determined it was either a small human or a very, very large dog.  Well what does one do with ashes of something that was clearly cremated?  Why throw it away of course!  Yes folks, he threw away the ashes of someone’s loved one.  In the garbage.

And that is why we now have to get our home blessed before this bitter being burns it down.  All of these almost catastrophes are getting a bit tired.  Any recommendations for someone who talks to dead people?  The husband would like to express his sincerest apologies.

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