One Very Bitter Ghost

GhostOur house is haunted, and it is the husband’s fault.  He pissed off a ghost, and that angry spirit is clearly trying to send us a message.

We had a small kitchen fire a few weeks ago. Like our other two fires, this one was fairly minor.  All humans and pets were safe (except for a fish named Einstein), and we discovered it just before potential massive damage.

Once we got things under control, we resumed our wine drinking and BS’ing in the neighbor’s backyard. That is when someone made a joke about our house being haunted. I mean, what kind of idiots have 3 fires in under 3 years.  Ummm…people who have pissed off a ghost!

So about 5 years ago–long before I ever met him–the husband was doing some work in our crawlspace when he found a cedar box filled with ashes. In his infinite wisdom, he and his buddies weighed the ashes (they were in a bag in the box), and after a little research, they determined it was either a small human or a very, very large dog.  Well what does one do with ashes of something that was clearly cremated?  Why throw it away of course!  Yes folks, he threw away the ashes of someone’s loved one.  In the garbage.

And that is why we now have to get our home blessed before this bitter being burns it down.  All of these almost catastrophes are getting a bit tired.  Any recommendations for someone who talks to dead people?  The husband would like to express his sincerest apologies.


4 Comments to “One Very Bitter Ghost”

  1. Suggest you ‘fight fire with fire’…in a positive way. Try burning a bit of sage in a small wooden bowl and carrying it through each room of the house while apologizing for discarding the ashes and asking for protection for the house and all who live there. Also ‘sage’ the people in the house by drawing the smoke over and around your head. That should do it!

  2. I think you should just give the ghost what it wants- Karl. In every war, there are casualties. No reason for you or Fred to get hurt because Karl doesn’t think about his actions.

    I think we should have a “Sacrifice Karl” party. We can all wear robes and at the end of the night…well, we can say goodbye to Karl.

    Also, I’d like this party to have sombreros, pinatas, and a mime.

    • We can’t sacrifice the husband! Who else I am going to blame for all the random crap that happens around the house? Fred doesn’t have thumbs, so that eliminates him from most things. But I am down with a sombreros and pinata party.

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