Archive for ‘Style’

July 8, 2013

Vote for Handsome Fred

Fred is officially campaigning to change his name from Dickhead Fred to Handsome Fred.  I like his style.

handsome fred

April 25, 2013

I Want a Motorcycle

cafe-racerI am too old for a quarter-life crisis and too young for a midlife crisis, but I am clearly going through something.  I am about to turn 32, and I want a motorcycle.  I must now mention that I have never driven a motorcycle.  Not once.  I have been on the back of one plenty of times.  I know you are supposed to lean when you turn.  Can’t get much harder than that, can it?

I don’t want a Harley or a crotch rocket.  Those are so not me.  I want a vintage café racer!  The husband and I parked next to one a couple weeks ago, and I immediately knew it had to be mine.  I know the one I get someday will be old and in need of work.  It makes the most financial sense for this probably somewhat fleeting obsession.  I’ve even started prematurely planning the paint, seat, and my helmet.  All the important stuff.  Move over pinterest, mama is looking up biker blogs!

I also have zero desire to every drive it on Dallas highways or any roads where speeds exceed 50 mph.  I am a sissy.  This will strictly be a neighborhood commuter.  Trips to the coffee shop, the gym, and lunch dates.   BTW – I am also scared of riding it in the dark; hence, the lunch dates.  A Vespa (or a fixie) might be more appropriate, but it would be so boring and so very, very predictable.

March 15, 2013

#OOTD Mockery

ootdI open up instagram each morning and see the usual #ootd posts, and I think, “Oh, that’s cute.”  Believe it or not, it is not in my usual snarky tone.  Okay, maybe there is a very slight tone.  But come on… I can only see so many ways to wear a blazer with skinnys before my eyes start to roll uncontrollably.  And are all of those hashtags really necessary?  You like to wear labels. I get it.

#ootd posts make me remember when I had a cush corporate job and used to wear pretty dresses everyday.  Now getting dressed up means putting on a bra and a clean pair of jeans.  However, heels continue to and always will be a staple in my daily wardrobe.  With or without the bra and clean jeans.

On a whim of mockery, I decided to take my own #ootd photo.  I even took it in the bathroom, so it would feel super authentic.  It is also the only room in our home that that has a full length mirror.

Cardigan: #JCrew c. 2010
T-shirt: #RaRaRiot tee purchased at their show
Jeans: #Target special!
Scarf: #giftfrommom and not a clue where it came from
Heels: #Boutique9
Cocktail ring: #thriftstore
Nail polish: #wildcactus from #birchbox

So there you have it.  That is my daily uniform these days in all of its hashtag glory!  Switch out the band tee for a beer tee or the cardigan for a blazer, and call it a new day.  AND it is unsex!  Steal my look if you are a man or a woman.  I just made myself giggle out loud.

January 9, 2013

Cry Face Competition

cryfaceI have the most hideous cry face on the planet.  Scratch that.  I have the second most hideous cry face.  I don’t care though.  I am owning it, because I have learned that bad cry faces are good for a giggle.  That being said, this is going to sound like a sad story, but it might actually make you smile.

We recently lost our black lab and beloved family member, Lucy, so there have been a lot of tears in our house.  For some reason, Lucy loved to hangout in the bathroom with me.  She always claimed her spot on the bath mat to watch me get ready or to sneak her snout in the shower.  I had a moment this morning when I prepared to step around her when I got out of the shower and realized that she wasn’t there.  It was one of those breakdowns with giant crocodile tears and pitiful gasps for air.

Now the funny part happens.  As I am crying, I looked up at the mirror and immediately smiled and then had a really good giggle.  My cry face was giving Claire Danes a run for her money!  If you watch Homeland or remember My So Called Life, you are familiar with this face.  It is absolutely awful and painful to look at!  There are even blogs, pinterest boards, and tumblr accounts that exist only to document her cry face.  The fact that my cry face is almost as bad as hers makes me a little proud!  If nothing else, it is a good distraction and mood lifter when I feel the tears coming on.  So next time you feel a big lump in your throat, own it and cry with your bad self knowing that someone else out there looks worse than you.



December 2, 2012

Christmas Crafts

Christmas crafts with poinsettias.

Some people call me a scrooge because I don’t like most Christmas decorations.  I don’t like Santa hats.  I don’t like ornaments.  I don’t even like the color red.   But I love mercury glass, glitter, small live trees, and candles.  I have the Christmas spirit; it is just a little unexpected.  We also live in a little bungalow, so I choose to have just a few things that represent the holidays.

Holidays = crafts and my first project was this morning.  I purchased a couple small poinsettias (not red ones) and came up with a different way to display them with things I had around the house.

The first step was to immediately trash the foil wrapper around the pot.  Tacky.  Then I found some small glass containers that are meant to hold candles.  Because the containers are clear glass, I had to find a way to hide the pot and dirt.  The containers are also not a perfect cylinder, so wrapping the outside of it would have been a chore.  So…I wrapped the inside!  I just used some cheap butcher paper I had in a closet.  After all that it was still looking a little boring.  I didn’t have any ribbon, but I found some fancy schmancy baker’s twine.  I gave the outside of the containers a few twirls and called it a day.  I think it is pretty cute!



October 22, 2012

Birchbox Love

I am not very good at being a girly girl.  Terrible at it.  Yes, I wear dresses and 4” heels almost daily, but I don’t give a damn about products and potions.  They are so freaking boring and way too labor intensive.  However, I recognize that I am getting older and I should care about what I put on my face.  That is why I signed up for Birchbox.  This girl needs all the samples and tips she can get while making as little effort as possible!

Check out my first box that arrived this afternoon.  What a lovely Monday treat!

Viva la Juicy La Fleur | Juice Couture
A little too sweet for my taste and Fred sneezes as soon as he is within 3 feet of me.  Might be a good dog deterrent or even good in a smelly pinch?  Like if I forget to put on deodorant one day.

Lavender + Clary Sage Hair Powder | Lulu Organics
Haven’t used this yet, but I certainly need it.  Washing your hair M-TH is not a major priority when you work from home.

Pomegranate & Fig Lip Butter | Mox Botanicals
Wearing it now and I just made sure it was husband approved.  No stickiness or shiny residue left on my man.

Mary-Lou Manizer | theBalm cosmetics
Haven’t tried this yet, but it happens to be the perfect color for me.  That must be why Birchbox made me fill out that survey.  I will need some serious application practice and youtube consultation.

Hair Tie | twistband
Love!  I have been wanting one, but I have been too lazy to search for it.

Last but not least is the plastic bag in the photo.  I was a little confused when I first saw it; it is much too fancy for leftovers.  Then I read the card and realized it is for all my beauty products.  Of course it is!  It is way more sophisticated than the ratty Ziploc bags I use.  Someone is movin on up in the product world…one Birchbox sample at a time.

September 25, 2012

Golf and Sofia Vergara

On Sunday night I was reminded that it is sometimes more appropriate to phone a girlfriend than to interrupt the husband’s golf show to talk about meaningless celebrity bullshit.

Before I continue, I must admit that I am pretty obsessed with golf.  My love for it has slowly matured over the last year.  It fully blossomed when I was introduced to Graeme McDowell.  Yum-mmeeeee.  Of course I didn’t really meet him, but I watched Feherty’s interview with him and felt like I was right there drinking a pint of Guiness with the Irish lads.   Are they called lads in Ireland?  I think that might be the other accent, the Australian one.  I don’t even like Guiness and think European beer outside of Belgium is a waste of calories, but I would choke down a Guiness for Graeme.  Feherty too.  Okay, more about golf and Graeme later.

The husband was watching a golf program on Sunday night while I was inspecting Emmy dresses online.  I couldn’t help but notice that the celebs very carefully place their hands on their hips or waist to accentuate the feature they want you to see.  I reviewed a few photos in detail while carefully avoiding the bitches that are much skinnier than me, and then I went to our full-length mirror to attempt to mimic the poses.

OMG, Sofia Vergara’s hips are huge!  HOT but huge.  And don’t forget that she is Latin so she gets a pass.  I confirmed it a couple of times in the mirror and then went running to the husband to tell him about my very scientific way of determining a celeb’s waist and hip size. I went into great detail about where Sofia’s hands were placed (slightly above the crotch but below the waste) and even demonstrated it in my leggings, tang top, and Uggs.  Then I showed him how far apart her hands were in her pose.  I really wanted him to understand my A-HA! moment.

He just looked up and said, “So your hips are smaller than hers and this is important?”

Touche and STFU.

September 21, 2012

Einstein or Jesus Quiz!

Remember when people used to immediately ask you what you do for a living as a way to get to know you?  How tacky!  The husband and I have found a much more discreet way to pass judgment and determine whether or not you are our people.  Besides, a profession doesn’t tell you much about a person.  Unless, of course, you are a gold digger.  Then it might be important.

Instead of the job question, we ask new people what neighborhood they live in.  It is so telling!  After this preliminary question, we get a little deeper with questions about their personal preferences.  Remember the Einstein or Jesus game?  Well, that is part of it but with a lot more questions.

We are going to approach this like a simple quiz where you pick which one you prefer.  Post a comment or email me with your preferences and I promise I won’t judge you.  That might be a lie.  I promise I won’t publicly judge you.

  • Einstein or Elvis
  • Gin or Vodka
  • College Football or Pro Football
  • Cooking Channel or Food Network
  • Suburbs or City
  • German or Belgian (we are talking beer here)
  • Bottle or Glass (again, we are talking beer)
  • Facebook or Google+
  • Yelp or Foursquare
  • Crockpot or Le Creuset
  • Craft or Commerce
  • Analog or Digital

And last but not least, Einstein or Jesus.  The husband and I even disagree on that one.  Which one do you think I chose?

August 10, 2012

I’m Pimping My Husband

I have decided to pimp the husband.  Okay, not him literally, but I am going to pimp his design skills.  He created a pretty badass piece of furniture, and it is time to market the ish out of it.  I am introducing to you, my loyal blog followers, the Wheelbarrow Chair!  *eruption of cheers*

Have you ever been to a backyard party and run out of chairs?  After too many drinks in the sun and very tired feet, the husband discovered that sitting in a wheelbarrow with the handles tipped down is pretty damn comfortable.  The following morning with a much clearer head, he thought about his rad chair discovery.  Unfortunately it is pretty ugly in its natural form.  Good thing he like to design furniture! *lightbulb*  Now it is sexy enough for a living room and can even spice up a waiting room.  I initially declared it patio furniture and banned it from the house until I saw the finished product.  Now it is the piece de resistance of our own living room.  I even picked the lovely shade of green, which can be customized to your own favorite color.

Here are the details.   The chair is a wheelbarrow bucket with birch plywood legs and steel bracing. The finish is an automotive grade urethane that is extremely durable. All exposed nuts and bolts are stainless steel.  You get all of this for only $400!  Oh yes, the very low price of $400!  It is almost too good be true.  A custom, handmade chair for only $400!

For inquiries, you can contact his wife.  That would be me.  He doesn’t answer his phone.  Or his email.  It irritates the crap out of me.  Serious inquiries preferred, but I’ll take what I can get.

The husband’s loving wife, Misty

May 13, 2012

Mustaches and Sequins!

I was itching for another party, but I needed a theme.  How about mustaches and sequins?  They go together so well that they deserve a party!  It was a stache bash!

Some of the men on the invite list were bearded, so all they had to do was trim it into a sexy stache.  Those that were not bearded got 2 weeks notice to man up.  Their other alternative was to wear sequins.  You will see that some did…

The ladies finally had an excuse to wear sequins outside of NYE.  We rocked it like a newly legal 21 year old in Uptown.  A few donned mustaches as well.  Thankfully none were real.

We have committed to another party in June.  I think this one might be a play on corporate America.  Of course costumes will be required.

PS – I will be posting the menu soon!  Homemade marshmallows, marinated mushrooms…nom nom nom.


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