Posts tagged ‘dallas’

May 20, 2013

Famous Salsa Recipe

My salsa recipe is now my famous salsa recipe.  We competed in a homebrew competition yesterday (and won!), and of course there were food pairings with each beer.  You have to enhance the beer flavors!  The famous salsa was paired with the–now award winning–IPA.  The beer was the real star of the show, but there were tons of requests for the salsa recipe.  Even the old hispanic men were asking for it!  That’s when you know you have a winner!  So here it is again, the famous salsa recipe.

You can also check out The Manhattan Project’s facebook page.  That’s the brewery.  Website and additional marketing coming soon.  We couldn’t go into this with too much arrogance, but now we have bragging rights!

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I have seen some pins claiming to be the world’s best salsa, and I feel it is my duty to set the record straight with the recipe for the real world’s best salsa.  I have been duped by Pinterest recipes before, and it was a sad day in the Sanford kitchen.

What was my first clue that these pins were a lousy imitation?  Cilantro and lime were missing.  Isn’t that a staple, like tomatoes?

This is a basic salsa recipe that will knock your salsa dancing socks off. That was cheesy.

Back to Basics Salsa

  • 28 oz can of peeled tomatoes
  • 1 medium onion, chopped
  • 4-6 garlic cloves, chopped
  • Juice of 2-3 limes
  • Handful of cilantro, chopped
  • 1/2 – 1 tsp cumin
  • 2-5 peppers, mix of serrano and jalapeno, chopped
  • S&P to taste

Throw it all in a blender.  Don’t puree though.  The pulse button is perfect for salsa.  Taste as you pulse so that you can make any necessary adjustments.  I put this salsa on everything.  Eggs, chicken, veggies, you name it.

Need to troubleshoot your salsa?

  • Too flat?  Add more lime or cilantro.
  • Too watery?  Add a little cumin or garlic.
  • Not spicy enough?  Add more pepper.  The level of heat in each pepper is unpredictable.  You might need 3 jalapenos one time and 2 the next.

Enjoy!

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May 16, 2013

One Very Bitter Ghost

GhostOur house is haunted, and it is the husband’s fault.  He pissed off a ghost, and that angry spirit is clearly trying to send us a message.

We had a small kitchen fire a few weeks ago. Like our other two fires, this one was fairly minor.  All humans and pets were safe (except for a fish named Einstein), and we discovered it just before potential massive damage.

Once we got things under control, we resumed our wine drinking and BS’ing in the neighbor’s backyard. That is when someone made a joke about our house being haunted. I mean, what kind of idiots have 3 fires in under 3 years.  Ummm…people who have pissed off a ghost!

So about 5 years ago–long before I ever met him–the husband was doing some work in our crawlspace when he found a cedar box filled with ashes. In his infinite wisdom, he and his buddies weighed the ashes (they were in a bag in the box), and after a little research, they determined it was either a small human or a very, very large dog.  Well what does one do with ashes of something that was clearly cremated?  Why throw it away of course!  Yes folks, he threw away the ashes of someone’s loved one.  In the garbage.

And that is why we now have to get our home blessed before this bitter being burns it down.  All of these almost catastrophes are getting a bit tired.  Any recommendations for someone who talks to dead people?  The husband would like to express his sincerest apologies.

April 25, 2013

I Want a Motorcycle

cafe-racerI am too old for a quarter-life crisis and too young for a midlife crisis, but I am clearly going through something.  I am about to turn 32, and I want a motorcycle.  I must now mention that I have never driven a motorcycle.  Not once.  I have been on the back of one plenty of times.  I know you are supposed to lean when you turn.  Can’t get much harder than that, can it?

I don’t want a Harley or a crotch rocket.  Those are so not me.  I want a vintage café racer!  The husband and I parked next to one a couple weeks ago, and I immediately knew it had to be mine.  I know the one I get someday will be old and in need of work.  It makes the most financial sense for this probably somewhat fleeting obsession.  I’ve even started prematurely planning the paint, seat, and my helmet.  All the important stuff.  Move over pinterest, mama is looking up biker blogs!

I also have zero desire to every drive it on Dallas highways or any roads where speeds exceed 50 mph.  I am a sissy.  This will strictly be a neighborhood commuter.  Trips to the coffee shop, the gym, and lunch dates.   BTW – I am also scared of riding it in the dark; hence, the lunch dates.  A Vespa (or a fixie) might be more appropriate, but it would be so boring and so very, very predictable.

November 21, 2012

Happy Friendsgiving and Thanksgiving!

The husband and I spend Thanksgiving with family, which is lovely and always special, but when your families live in other cities like ours do, you miss out on spending the holiday with another very important part your life, your close friends.  We figured out a way to have both this year.  We hosted our first Friendsgiving last Saturday. It was filled with delicious food, wine, and conversation that lasted late into the night.

A few photos from the evening are below. The husband and I provided the turkey, apps, and a couple other dishes while everyone else filled in with some of their favorite recipes.  The food was outstanding.  I have to admit that one of my favorite things was the table setting.  It is amazing what you can do with $25 worth of flowers and gourds from the grocery store!

Since we just hit our one-year anniversary last month, I still consider us newlyweds.  I am loving how we are slowly transforming our house into what is truly our home.  No more his and hers.  Because of that, I am particularly excited about this holiday season.  Our own traditions and little moments that are unique to us are beginning to emerge.  It is a great feeling to be so established and content at the same time.  I probably sound like a ball of mush!  Gag!

Enjoy your Thanksgiving!

September 28, 2012

Someone is a Winner!

Clever friends amuse and entertain you.  They also win you free tickets to see Bob Schneider just because they have a competitive desire to be the biggest smart-ass in the room.  Thanks, Ben!  My dream is to be as witty as you some day.  The husband and I will enjoy the show.

 

 

September 28, 2012

Comfort Food Recipe – Sweet Potato Souffle

Hello, Fall.  I have been anxiously waiting for you.  Now that you are here (sort of), I can make all my favorite comfort foods.  The first dish I made in your honor was sweet potato soufflé.  It was a smashing hit with the husband.  Now don’t let me down by bringing back temps in the 90s.

XXOO,
Misty

 

 

 

Sweet Potato Souffle

  • 3 lbs sweet potatoes
  • 6 tbsp unsalted butter, softened
  • ½ cup heavy cream
  • ½ cup shredded gruyere
  • 2 tbps light brown sugar
  • 1 teaspoon fresh thyme, chopped (I probably used more)
  • 3 large eggs
  • S&P

This serves 12, so I made a much smaller portion.

Preheat the oven to 350.  Poke the potatoes with a fork and bake for 45 minutes or until soft.  Raise the oven temp to 425.

Peel the potatoes once they are cool enough to handle.  Beat the potatoes with the butter until smooth.  Now beat in the cream, cheese, brown sugar, thyme, and S&P (to taste).  Beat in the eggs one at a time.

Transfer the puree to buttered baking dishes.  I used individual ramekins for a pretty presentation.  Bake for 15 minutes.  Reduce the oven temp to 400 and bake for another 30 minutes or until the sweet potatoes are lightly puffed and browned.  Let the soufflé rest for 10 minutes before serving.

September 25, 2012

Golf and Sofia Vergara

On Sunday night I was reminded that it is sometimes more appropriate to phone a girlfriend than to interrupt the husband’s golf show to talk about meaningless celebrity bullshit.

Before I continue, I must admit that I am pretty obsessed with golf.  My love for it has slowly matured over the last year.  It fully blossomed when I was introduced to Graeme McDowell.  Yum-mmeeeee.  Of course I didn’t really meet him, but I watched Feherty’s interview with him and felt like I was right there drinking a pint of Guiness with the Irish lads.   Are they called lads in Ireland?  I think that might be the other accent, the Australian one.  I don’t even like Guiness and think European beer outside of Belgium is a waste of calories, but I would choke down a Guiness for Graeme.  Feherty too.  Okay, more about golf and Graeme later.

The husband was watching a golf program on Sunday night while I was inspecting Emmy dresses online.  I couldn’t help but notice that the celebs very carefully place their hands on their hips or waist to accentuate the feature they want you to see.  I reviewed a few photos in detail while carefully avoiding the bitches that are much skinnier than me, and then I went to our full-length mirror to attempt to mimic the poses.

OMG, Sofia Vergara’s hips are huge!  HOT but huge.  And don’t forget that she is Latin so she gets a pass.  I confirmed it a couple of times in the mirror and then went running to the husband to tell him about my very scientific way of determining a celeb’s waist and hip size. I went into great detail about where Sofia’s hands were placed (slightly above the crotch but below the waste) and even demonstrated it in my leggings, tang top, and Uggs.  Then I showed him how far apart her hands were in her pose.  I really wanted him to understand my A-HA! moment.

He just looked up and said, “So your hips are smaller than hers and this is important?”

Touche and STFU.

September 20, 2012

I’ll have a latte!

I am a changed woman.  I like coffee!  Well, I like lattes and cappuccino.  That counts, right?  I love red wine, big beers, and the stranger the food the better, so why did it take me so long to like coffee?

I discovered my new love last week when I tasted the husband’s post dinner cappuccino and a friend’s morning latte.   They were delicious!  And now I just finished my first latte that I ordered by myself for myself!

I had been looking forward to this experience all week.  I was waiting for an empty afternoon to park my butt at The Pearl Cup with my laptop.  That is what the cool kids do, right?  I even pretended like I was the uber creative type writing the great American novel on my Apple computer.  Little did they know I was just writing blog posts.

So, I might have gotten a little excited and slammed that first cup too quickly.  It tasted so wonderful, and it was so pretty, but I don’t feel so good.  I think this is what you coffee drinkers are experiencing when you say you have had too much.

September 14, 2012

Stalker Traffic

I always get a little tickled when my name shows up in the referring search terms for my blog traffic.  This week “Misty Browning Sanford” and “Misty Browning Sanford, Dallas” made a few appearances.  Someone was doing a very deliberate search for me.  Well, I see you!  I don’t know who you are, but you have been crowned my new stalker.  Yeah… Stalker might be a bit of an exaggeration, but it makes me feel special.

If you, my stalker friend, are reading this, don’t worry.  There is no shame in googling friends and randoms.  I search people’s names all the time.  I am curious by nature.

What tickles me about this whole thing is that people are finding ThePlasticJungle.com when they are probably looking for a LinkedIn profile.   Can you imagine their reaction when they find stories about the husband, my fear of babies, and Dickhead Fred‘s antics?  Hopefully they have a sense of humor, because it just got a whole lot more personal than a LinkedIn profile.

September 3, 2012

Bob Schneider and Cougars

The husband kind of has an affinity for cougars.  Or maybe they have an affinity for him.   Whatever it is, it keeps me entertained.  I should note these women are not the aggressive Capital Grille or Dragonfly cougars.  They are nice, older women in their 60s that happen to think the husband is adorable, so they engage him in conversation.  I plan to keep telling myself that, so I continue to find it entertaining.

On Friday evening, we had drinks at The Common Table and then saw Bob Schneider play at the Granada.  Both happened to be full of cougars that were flirting with my husband.  One woman walked up to him to tell him she liked the look he had going on and then gave him the once over with her eyes.  I was standing right next to him!  I can’t even remember what he was wearing. I even looked in the laundry basket to try and piece it together to share it with you, but I got nothing.  The drinks before the show might not have been the best idea after doing a juice detox all week…

While the husband was flirting with the old ladies, I was dancing and singing to every song Bob played.  I have lived in Dallas for 5 years, and this was my first Bob show.  *shame*  When he was playing Big Blue Sea, I was particularly enthusiastic.  I looked at the husband with a huge party on grin, and he just shook his head.  He then leaned over to tell me that Big Blue Sea is a song Bob plays for all the d-bags.  He should know.  Not because he is a d-bag, but because this is at least his 10th Bob show.  I just shrugged my shoulders to say whatever and continued dancing.  Big Blue Sea might be a d-bag song, but the entire audience sang and danced to every song Bob played that night.

That most definitely will not be my last Bob Schneider show.  I can also guarantee that there will be plenty more cougar encounters to document.  The husband needs to earn his keep!

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