Posts tagged ‘dead’

May 16, 2013

One Very Bitter Ghost

GhostOur house is haunted, and it is the husband’s fault.  He pissed off a ghost, and that angry spirit is clearly trying to send us a message.

We had a small kitchen fire a few weeks ago. Like our other two fires, this one was fairly minor.  All humans and pets were safe (except for a fish named Einstein), and we discovered it just before potential massive damage.

Once we got things under control, we resumed our wine drinking and BS’ing in the neighbor’s backyard. That is when someone made a joke about our house being haunted. I mean, what kind of idiots have 3 fires in under 3 years.  Ummm…people who have pissed off a ghost!

So about 5 years ago–long before I ever met him–the husband was doing some work in our crawlspace when he found a cedar box filled with ashes. In his infinite wisdom, he and his buddies weighed the ashes (they were in a bag in the box), and after a little research, they determined it was either a small human or a very, very large dog.  Well what does one do with ashes of something that was clearly cremated?  Why throw it away of course!  Yes folks, he threw away the ashes of someone’s loved one.  In the garbage.

And that is why we now have to get our home blessed before this bitter being burns it down.  All of these almost catastrophes are getting a bit tired.  Any recommendations for someone who talks to dead people?  The husband would like to express his sincerest apologies.

February 2, 2011

Elvis is Dead

Elvis is dead.  Not that Elvis.  Elvis the fish (see post about the day I purchased Elvis).  We have a little ice in Dallas, and it has caused a mess.  A tree fell on the house and took out a power line with it.  The fiancé and I saved the dogs and our laptops, but forgot Elvis in his bowl.  I found a fish-sicle when I went home last night to get a few things.  I am attempting to thaw the poor guy.  RIP Elvis.  You will always be remembered as the fish that lived the longest. Not that it is hard to beat a 4 day life span.

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