Posts tagged ‘fiance’

September 29, 2011

Trade: Beer for Playlist

You would think that with how much we enjoy music, the fiance and I would have no problem making a playlist for the upcoming nuptials.  Nope.  We are avoiding it like I avoid wearing flats.  In fact, can I pay one of you to make a playlist for me?  We pay in pizza and beer.  Really good pizza and beer.  You can figure out what I like based on the music category on this blog.

The hardest part is done though.  We selected “our” song.  Home by Edward Sharpe and the Magnetic Zeros.  It’s not at all expected or even a slow dance song.  But it is a pretty fantastic love song.

Home is wherever I’m with you
Home is when I’m alone with you

Home by Edward Sharpe and the Magnetic Zeros

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September 25, 2011

Wedding Day Spanx

Two weeks until I marry the fiance!  We finally spent a few hours yesterday getting things done to prepare for the day.  My Spanx also arrived.

This is (was) my very first pair of Spanx.  I knew the fiance would be less than thrilled so I didn’t tell him.  Unfortunately I did not think ahead and have them shipped to my office rather than the house.  And of course they arrived when he was home and I was not.  I walked in the door yesterday morning and heard this.

The fiance: Why did you buy Spanx? *very accusatory tone*
Me: To wear under my wedding dress.
The fiance: NOOOOO!!!!!
Me: The dress is sheer!  I have to wear something.
The fiance: Well wear something more attractive.  Like a wrestling suit.

Turns out that he is right. They are pretty freakin’ hideous.  I waited until he fell asleep last night to try them on.  I snuck in the guest room and pulled out the Spanx and the dress.  Boy, those things are awkward!  Then I tiptoed into the bathroom to look in the full length mirror.  They didn’t make a damn difference!  Where is the smoothing and shaping?  I was expecting to see an itty bitty waist and round thing in… well not exactly that, but something more Kim Kardashian-ish.  Instead it was just me wearing a really ugly piece of lingerie.  They are now neatly repacked in their box with a return label.  The fiance won and I will be spending the afternoon looking for a wrestling suit.

September 2, 2011

Groupon Sucker

I had an interesting experience this week.  I got a spray tan.  Not the kind where you step into a giant capsule looking thing and get coated with sticky orange stuff.  But the real looking spray tan.

I got suckered with another Groupon.  This one was 75% off the fancy, less orange tan.  I told the fiance a few nights ago what I was doing.  He raised a disapproving eyebrow and made a sarcastic comment with an obscure analogy.  Whatever.  This pasty white girl needs some color and I don’t want premature wrinkles.

I was a little nervous when I arrived at the salon.  I had heard how these things worked and knew what was coming…  I stood naked in a room while an adorable, skinny girl with a gun full of paint went at me.  She did offer me an optional sheer thong for modesty purposes, which I gladly accepted.  4 long hours and about 16 inspections in the mirror later, I was able to shower.  What happened next?  I watched it all wash down the drain.  Surely it wasn’t all gone.  I still had the fake tan stink.  Later that evening I casually mentioned to the fiance that I got sprayed.  He looked up and said, “Did they miss a spot?”  Like my entire body.

August 26, 2011

The Dirty Truth

I have a couple dirty truths on Come Clean Friday.  That’s a new holiday I just created for myself.

I have almost convinced the fiance to start a food blog.  Think of the Sartorialist but for food.  And maybe whisk in a little commentary.  But there is a dilemma (i.e. dirty truth).  The blog will be like getting a new puppy.  The excitement will wane as soon as effort is required.  That means I will take over to clean up the piss.  No complaints here, but you can bet your muffins that I will take credit for all the deliciousness that gets prepared in our kitchen!  I was recently promoted to Sous Chef and plan to take over as Executive soon.  At least on nights I feel like cooking.

The second dirty truth took place while dining on one of my creations…I have a big mouth and not much of a filter.

Me:  Hot damn!  This is good!  Do you mind if I put this on my blog?
The Fiance:  *blink blink*
Me:  What?
The Fiance:  You post countless personal things about me but you ask for approval to post a recipe?
Me: Touche…

How could I argue with that?  You guys probably know more things about him than his own mother.

January 4, 2011

Champagne Toast!

I have been about to burst with news.  The bf is now the fiancé!  He proposed on December 26, and I said yes as soon as I could speak.  It was romantic and perfect and it made me fall in love with him all over again.  I’ll leave out the details of the proposal.  A girl has to have some secrets, right?  We spent the following days in a champagne haze as we told as many friends in person as we could.

I promise not to turn TPJ into constant posts about wedding planning angst and details.  That would be boring, and we also plan to keep it simple and drama free.  Please keep your snorts and chuckles to yourself. At this point all we know is that we want it to be small, untraditional, and maybe outdoors in October.  Oh!  And I found the shoes I want to wear!  The rest should be easy!

I know the ladies want to know about the ring.  It was his great-grandmother’s ring from the early 1920s.  Round diamond set in platinum with beautiful filigree.  He couldn’t have done better.  And I couldn’t have found a better fiancé.

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