Posts tagged ‘rules’

January 21, 2011

Southern Charm

There is a certain southern accent I love.  My friend Marcia (that’s pronounced Mar-see-a not Marsha) quite possibly has the best drawl I have ever heard.  She was in Dallas from Atlanta this week.  I was fortunate enough to monopolize all her time and soak up her accent as much as possible.  I found myself mimicking words she would say.  Not because I was teasing, but because I wanted to learn!  She can say the crudest things with terrible language and it sounds like pure honey.  Of course she is too much of a lady to do that.  

While drinking beer and eating mussels at The Moth, she made a comment that made me realize she absolutely fits the role of a true southern lady.  Sounds like an oxymoron, right?  She inspired me to look up rules these ladies live by so that I can hope to be as charming and gracious as Ms Marcia one day.  I gave myself a letter grade for each item.  I need some work.

  • A true southern lady knows how to entertain AND cook. A.  I’m including the fiance in this grade and taking credit for his cooking.
  • You must never turn down an invitation.  D
  • Every southern lady knows that a pitcher of iced tea is a MUST for all occasions.  F. Wine should count!
  • If you have no choice but to say something less than flattering about someone, add “bless his/her heart” and then anything goes!  F
  • Never show anger in public. Smile and act like a lady.  C
  • Act helpless and confused when it’s to your advantage; never let them know how clever and capable you really are. I’m afraid I can’t reveal this grade.  It’s like telling a secret.
  • Don’t so much as go to the mailbox without hair, make-up and nails being done.  F-
  • Charm, Charm, Charm.  B
  • Secret family recipes are just that – secret! It is extremely bad manners to ask someone for a secret family recipe or to share your own.  D.  I have such a big mouth.
January 12, 2011

Fashion Rules for Men – Part 2

The fiance scolded me after my Fashion Rules for Men post.  He thought I skipped the basics and was way too advanced.  He is right.  I ended up writing my list of pet peeves rather than general rules.  But come on, didn’t you love the rule about hair length?  Maybe he is just bothered that I did not get his thoughts before I pushed the publish button.  So here it goes.  His top 10 list.  Back to basics, boys!

  • Always match your shoes to your belt and match your socks to your pants.
  • Don’t wear the same pattern on the top and bottom.  Stripes on top means no stripes on your pants.
  • Wear clothes that fit.
  • Wear shoes that require polish.
  • Never wear a tie without a jacket.*
  • Don’t be scared of the iron.
  • Never own a jewel toned button down shirt.
  • Know the difference between a half break and a full break.
  • If your facial hair grows in patches, have a meeting with your razor daily.
  • If you are under 30 and you part your hair, realize you have your retirement years to do so.

Hopefully you learned something.

*Unless you are a hipster and know how to buy the appropriate tie and shirt to pull off this sort of thing.

December 26, 2010

Fashion Rules for Men

Listen up men.  Before you start your post-holiday shopping and exchange the god awful sweater mom got you or spend the pile of gift cards, there are a few fashion rules you need to be aware of.  This is in no way a comprehensive list, but you just might be surprised by how guilty you are.  The rules below are in no particular order.

  • Collar stays.  Collar stays.  Collar stays.
  • Back darts are life changing.  1 custom shirt is better than 2 off the rack shirts.
  • Match your socks to your pants.  Not your shoes!
  • Match your shoes to your belt.  When you buy a pair of shoes, go ahead and pick up a belt on the same shopping trip.
  • Your watch is the most important accessory you can wear.
  • Flat is always better.  Ditch the pleats for good.
  • Smell good, but not choke me.  Make sure your scent reflects you.
  • Find a tailor immediately.  The fit of your pants can make or break your whole look.
  • Never ever dye your hair.  Hair length should also be proportionate to the amount you have left.

Okay, the list evolved into more than just fashion tips.  I don’t want temptation to get the best of you if your eye catches the box of Hair Club for Men.

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